23 years on and that date is seared in my mind as strongly as it has ever been. The worst day of my life. A day that irrevocably changed the lives of so many people like ripples forming in a pond. No – more like waves crashing around a huge boulder rammed into the once … More 18th June 1994
This morning I heard a friend had died. The four year old girl inside me wails, she can’t understand the loss of her father. A separation she experienced before she had words to understand or memory to remember. Her wordless pain and confusion tear at my soul. I’m unable to distinguish the feelings of my … More Healing … PTSD, Samskaras and Karma
A tribute to Barb McAllister, my friend and guide. For seeing me; for inspiring me to emerge. My work. My life. My journey. Resembled in the image indelibly etched onto my body. Facing pain, this time of my own choosing, physical pain that becomes beauty on my skin. Taking control of my … More The Phoenix
She grew up intrinsically understanding her parents’ pain, bravely carrying the heavy trunk of her parents’ shame. Believing herself responsible for fixing, healing, loving her parents’ wounds until they were whole again. When she could not fully hold the pain that was not hers to hold and she saw the wounds were still there she felt … More That was her torment. She understood.
I’ve scrambled the stony, unmarked path back from the bottom of the darkness enough times I know I can survive anything. Traumas from the past create in me abounding strength, armour as hard as nails and chinks that reveal my vulnerable weakness underneath. But it feels like my armour is starting to look like grandmas … More I know I can survive, I’ve done it before