Depression and I go back a long way. After all these years she is still a bit of a mystery, always slipping into the shadows whenever I try to look at her head on; a mirage on the horizon that I never can get a firm grip on. But I’m starting to see that depression … More Depression a-knock-knock-knocking at your door
As I comfortably share my experiences and reflections around topics I’ve become at home with I find it so often leads me to beautiful places in others souls as they feel safe enough to entrust me with their own shadow side. My life’s work over the last two years has been unravelling my past, picking … More The Magic of Speaking Openly
A disciplined, high achiever; structured, reliable and diligent. However 30 years of carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and I seem to have become allergic to all the aforementioned behavioural patterns. Finally a wise man confirms and supports my hypothesis and recommends I live life like an artist, that I ‘live life … More Living Life Whimsically
Six months into my stay in India and the WTF phase has well and truly kicked in. Now my visa has just six months left. Which means my psyche is starting to see a threshold, a date it keeps getting caught on. The perceived limit on my time in India throws my monkey mind into … More WTF am I doing?
23 years on and that date is seared in my mind as strongly as it has ever been. The worst day of my life. A day that irrevocably changed the lives of so many people like ripples forming in a pond. No – more like waves crashing around a huge boulder rammed into the once … More 18th June 1994
This morning I heard a friend had died. The four year old girl inside me wails, she can’t understand the loss of her father. A separation she experienced before she had words to understand or memory to remember. Her wordless pain and confusion tear at my soul. I’m unable to distinguish the feelings of my … More Healing … PTSD, Samskaras and Karma
A feeling I’m not unused to, especially since I’ve been recovering from burn-out. A feeling that reminds of a hangover, eyes squinty, limbs heavy, no coordination, requiring herculean effort to walk up the stairs or even tap away on this keyboard. After hauling myself slowly up the stairs, which I can at other times cavort … More Befuddled Brain and Lead Limbs – Burn-out with a Mountain Backdrop
As it warms up in south India I migrate northwards. Leaving the dizzy-making heat behind me, my body starts to recognise itself in the cooler climes; enjoying the cool nights, snuggling in a hoody and socks. I’m starting to feel the healthy impulses to carry out my small daily routines that were disrupted in the … More Migrating north – is authenticity the key to my energy?
Over the past month I’ve been finding a sense of balance. I’ve been taken in by an Indian family in Kerala; really been welcomed to their home and allowed to consider it my home too. I’ve had the chance just to take care of myself, not having to even worry about day to day planning, … More Watching the Ebb and Flow of my Energy – recovering from burn-out
I’m diligent, responsible and can be counted on; I do what I’ve promised and have a strong internal accountability to the people and things I’ve taken responsibility for. What if this isn’t because I’m an all round amazing person? What if this is instead just my carefully cultivated survival instinct? I take huge amounts of … More Rest not Responsibility