When you have one eye on the past you only have one eye left to see where you are going.
Doors close on us in life, some smash in our face others push steady and slowly, with creaks, groans and long sighs until we are finally and firmly shut out. However the door closes, sooner or later it forces us to turn around and find another way, forces us to push on new doors and find new opportunities. But some doors don’t close on you.
The door to my safe, permanent position at my workplace had been left wide open, inviting me back into it’s secure, protective arms. For many months I’ve felt comforted that the open door was still visible over my shoulder. Although my heart was brave and guiding me forward to new challenges and opportunities, fear kept checking in the rear view mirror thinking – I can always go back to what I had.
Eventually I’ve come to realise that all the while that the open door was still in my rear view mirror it was sucking a part of my energy towards it, like trying to walk forwards and at the same time dragging my heels on the ground. Often doors close, you end up out in the corridor, uncertain of which way to go, no other doors yet in sight. But to close a door by my own hand, to choose to move out into a corridor that has no sign posts to show me the way, that has taken deep courage. I resigned. I’m proud to have dared to do it, to have taken the next step into the unknown leaving at least that particular security blanket behind me.
‘When one door closes another one opens, but those corridors are a bitch’. ~ Unknown
Often between one chapter in life and the next there is a period of seeming limbo, no-mans land and uncertainty. Uncertainty tends to bring fear and discomfort. But these periods in our life are arguably some of the most important. A time to assimilate experiences and lessons from the past, a time to nourish, rest and regroup. A time to delve inward, integrate life so far into the depths of our being, to embody what we have learned. This process requires awareness acceptance and trust. It might seem like nothing is happening, it might even feel like we are ‘failing’ at life with no aim and nothing to show for our efforts, and if fear jumps in and convinces you that this is the case it can hijack this process altogether.
I am working consciously to allow the process in the limbo I find myself in. To continuously renew my intention to trust, trust in a power greater than myself, trust that my path will evolve in its own time. I do regularly find myself hijacked by fear, and it takes time to get back to the trust I had, but I believe that’s just part of the process. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
I’d love to hear from you
Leave a comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Pass it on
Enjoyed this post? Then please tweet it, share it on Facebook or send it to friends via e-mail using the buttons below.